


Letters

by loveneverfails



Category: Big Bang Theory
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-26
Updated: 2011-05-26
Packaged: 2017-10-19 19:27:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/204410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loveneverfails/pseuds/loveneverfails
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In one she tells him about her first love and why she only dates jerks now who won't fall in love with her. In another she tells him about her father and why she finds it easiest when she's on stage pretending to be anyone but herself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Letters

The first time Sheldon left on an exploration, Penny hadn't missed him as much as she had another. Sheldon was just another part of the group and at the time, her heart had been blinded by only one.

The next time he leaves, it's for three months and Penny can barely stand the absence. She finds it's the little things she misses the most. There's no one to knock on her door at precisely 11:00am and definitely no one to knock three times. She misses the way he has a routine and, by association, she has one, too. She finds herself at the comic book store on Wednesday night and she buys the new Green Lantern just because it reminds her of _him_. She tries to learn Klingon on the nights she doesn't work but gives up almost immediately. Instead she watches Star Trek the Next Generation and thinks how they're kind of like Worf and Troi. He's all rough exterior and she's full of emotion. Everywhere she goes, she finds that life is out to attack her heart with things that scream Sheldon's name. She wants to hole herself up and wait for the day that he returns, but she'd promised herself long ago to never let another man have all of her again.

It's at night that she misses him the most, though. She starts writing him letters on the first night he's away. It starts out as a note, to tell him that she followed his list of instructions accurately and not to worry because she'll collect his mail and comic books while he's gone. But as the weeks go by, the letters become filled with pretty words from her heart that make her cry. They're all things she wishes she could tell someone, even Sheldon, but has never had the courage to do so. In one she tells him about her first love and why she only dates jerks now who won't fall in love with her. In another she tells him about her father and why she finds it easiest when she's on stage pretending to be anyone but herself. She never tells him she loves him, she's not that stupid, but she also knows she'll probably never give these letters to him. These are for her own peace of mind, to deal with the absence of the little wackadoodle who's somehow become intertwined completely with her own life. She finds that it's easy to talk about her life when she's talking to Sheldon. Even on paper.

Sheldon returns on a Wednesday and his skin is pale and his hair is longer, but it's him. She greets him at the doorway of his apartment with an awkward hug and a peck on the cheek and is surprised to find Sheldon's arms embracing her in return. It's still a little clumsy from lack of practice, but it's filled with something more than she's used to. It's warm and it makes her feel like she might cry or laugh or drown in his embrace, but she likes it. And when she allows herself to settle there, with her head resting just below his chin, she hears the softest murmur of his voice against her hair. "I've missed you too, Penny."


End file.
